From that night on our relationship moved extremely fast and I got scared.  I made some lame excuse and stopped seeing her.  I tried to call a number of times but always chickened out.  Her friend Debbie was in a relationship at the time.  We did a lot of things together as couples.  I did not like Debbie’s boyfriend very much as he was very abusive to her.  However, he did do one good think.  One night they were with Barbara and he said to her “Why don’t you just call him”.  Then on July 3^rd I got a call from Barbara. Little did we know at that time that this call would change both of our lives forever.  We went on a date July 5^th and where never a part since.

When we were dating I was in a bicycle club and rode a lot.  One day Barbara said she would like to ride with me.  She borrowed a bike and helmet from her girlfriend, and we went to a bike trail.  She did rather good until we came to a bridge that was steep.  She tried to go over but didn’t have enough speed and she feel in slow motion.  I ran to her to see if she was OK and she was laughing hysterically.  She put so much effort into sharing my passion.  That was the day I knew I loved her.   A few days later we went for another ride.  She had on a t-shirt that said, “Bobs Biker Bitch”.  She must have really wanted to impress me as she eventually got real bicycle gear.

I was going to write an obituary but that seemed too harsh.  As I started to reflect on Barbara’s life I felt I needed to put my thoughts on paper for those who loved her.   For I have been told that as time goes on it gets harder to remember the details.   I find that hard to believe due to the giant impact she had on so many lives.   However, as I gathered my thoughts I felt the need to do this.  I found it hard to get started but I felt My Angel’s presence and it brought joy to my soul to honor her.  I didn’t realize it when it was happening but as we grew together as a couple I became a much better person and a man.  She was truly the Yin to my Yang. 

I wanted to add a prelude of my feelings and thoughts of Barbara.  However, our daughter Jen posted the following on Facebook that couldn’t describe Barbara any better.

A week ago, today, our world went sideways. Our protector, our matriarch, our amazing, Barbara Faehndrich was called home to Heaven.  I wanted to post photos showing all the unforgettable memories she has given us, but there are simply too many. Disney, Ocean City MD, Christmas, Easter, family dinners, hugs, laughs, tears, long talks.. the list is endless.  Her family was her everything and she loved my children with all of her heart and soul. I am so grateful to her for so many things but above all, for her unyielding love, support and friendship. She was my right hand in so many ways. She helped me raise my children, she helped me be a better person, she pushed me when I thought I should give up, she taught me how to be strong when I thought I couldn’t, she taught me how to forgive when I didn’t want to, she held me accountable. She was always there. She was not just my mother in law, she was my second Mom and above all, my best friend. 

I hope those who read this will remember Barbara as the remarkable woman she was.  Take the time to be thankful, not sad that she was in your life.

She truly left the world in a better place by being in it. I will love her till the day I die.

I had a friend that was friends with Billy Joel’s drummer and the week before he had asked me If I wanted to bring someone to an Elton John Billy Joel concert in Syracuse.  He had VIP tickets.  So, I asked her if she would like to go. However, it meant staying overnight.  She was awesome and of course said yes.  A few days before she was leaving the dentist at the office where she worked gave her a box and said take it with you when you go.  When she opened it was a gun.  She looked at her boss and said you are out of your fin mind. When we were being escorted to our seats I heard someone say ”Why are they getting special treatment” my response to them was that Barbara slept with Bill Joel.  That was the first time I saw “The Look”. 

Barbara and I met on Match.com.  We chatted online for about a week and then I asked her if she wanted to go for coffee or a drink.  I was so nervous.  She said yes and our first date was at a Restaurant in Valley Cottage.  Little did I know AJ was the chef their and he and many of Barbara’s friends where there also. I was truly caught off guard but felt it was very cool.  We left the restaurant and went to her house.  Looking back, I know that we both had found something incredibly special.  A few days after we met was her birthday, AJ and his friend where taking her to a comedy club in NYC she asked me if I would like to go, of course I said yes.  That night again I realized how special she was.  The comedian focused on our table and challenged her as to why she was the only woman at the table.  She immediately and proudly said that they were her sons.  Just about everyone was a different race.  The comedian said what did you do eat a box of crayons before you had sex.   Barbara replied that is right I am the Crayola Mom..

During this time of uncertainty in her life one thing that was certain was her love for AJ.  She became the mom to all of his friends and treated everyone with dignity, love, and respect.  She was always there to support, discipline, and advice no matter how many times she wanted to kill them.  In this period of her life this is where she continued to develop her honesty, tuff love and tell it like it is personality.  Reading the texts and notes from AJ’s friends during this time was truly inspirational and emotional.  Everyone had their own story to tell but they all had the same theme.  “ She wasn’t afraid to be brutely honest, but you always felt so loved”

As years went on Barbara’s marriage became complicated and hurtful.  They divorced and Barbara had to become totally independent.  This is where meeting Al, Nesi and Debbie  gave her strength.  They supported and loved her unconditionally.  When we would talk about her challenges during this time I was utterly amazed by her inner strength, her common sense and determination.   She told me many times how difficult it was for her to keep her house which was especially important to her.  She said there were many times when she had to decide between food and cigarettes.  Her favorite song was I Will Survive by Gloria Gainer.  This song became her mantra for the rest of her life.

Her dad disappointed her and caused an issue at her wedding.  Soon after she was married they bought a house in Congers, NY.  Again, her dad hurt her by not doing things he had promised.  These incidents fortified her unbelievable inner strength.  During this period of time is when Al and Michael came into her life.  Little did she know that Al would become one of the most important persons in her entire life.  She also met Nesi and Debbie during this time .  They became extremely close. 

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Barbara Ann Richman was born on May 4, 1948 in the Bronx to Norman Richman and Muriel Wallach.  After a few years she had two Brothers Howie and Michael.  However just after Michael was born her parents divorced.  As a teenager Barbara became the caretaker and protector of her 2 little bothers.  This was the beginning of the development of Barbara the Warrior Angel.  She needed to be strong for her brothers and herself.  This was the time in her journey that began the development of her common sense and protectiveness for her family.

Even with all that responsibility she was able to graduate from High School in her Junior year.  But she was also very independent as she skipped school a number of times to take the subway to Manhattan and just explore.  Her favorite place to go was Tads $4.99 Steaks.  She completed three years of college however she married John and dropped out of college.  She always said in hindsight that she recredited  dropping out of college but then she would always say that it was one of the best decisions she ever made because she had her son AJ.