As I sit here on my first New Year’s Eve without my soul mate I remembered that this was a time when we both discussed and reflected on our lives and discussed setting goals for the coming year. However this night I am reflecting on how my life has changed with her passing.
One day while I was sitting in her garden and wishing that she could be there to enjoy the day with me, the answer that I was waiting for came to me: I had placed a solar angel light in her garden that hadn’t worked for 2 months. As I was talking to hear it came on. She was not gone; she had just changed. She was there—in the garden, in the air, in the wind, in the stars, in my heart. I finally realized that what I was trying to cope with was not a loss but a change.
Barbara believed in spirituality and angels and I realize that just by loving her she taught me that nothing is actually lost in the universe. Everything is energy and energy is never lost. She might not be a part of the material world anymore, she might not be a person in the sense of a human being, but she is a part of the world somehow. I don’t know how, but I know she is. I know she is still here when I hear her voice telling me how to do something or where to look for something I can’t find.
The biggest change in my life is being mindful and grateful. I am grateful that Barbara guided me to connect with Tea Cheri my Grief Coach who has helped me reach down into my soul. I am grateful for the support and love of my family and friends who have helped me realize what is truly important in life. I am also grateful for all of the stories and messages that where sent to myself, AJ and Jen for they gave me more insight into who Barbara was. As I read them I realized what is truly important. That you leave the world in a better place by being in it.
So as we are all with our family tonight Barbara and I want to wish you healthy and save 2021. We sincerely hope that you honor and love those who are special to you and that you leave the world in a better place by being in it.
Happy New Year!!!