From the time that she began this ordeal she never once said why me or this sucks. What she did do was live her life to the fullest. Nothing in our life skipped a beat. In fact, her joy of life and family intensified. She remained extraordinarily strong and independent the entire time. She continued to create glorious memories for us and her family. There were times when I could see that she was tired or struggling. I learned never to ask what is wrong, or can I help I just did. Most times at night I would say you were amazing today she would respond with a smile and a kiss. Sometimes she would say I know.
A few years later the cancer started to be active again. Her Oncologist suggested immunotherapy. We discussed and felt it was the best next step. For the first few months there were no side effects. Then she started getting server skin rashes on her arms and legs. Every night she would apply creams and ointments. She never became self-conscious she just was frustrated. The she started getting diarrhea. At first it was just annoying as she said, but as time went on it became very server and hard to control. Over 6 months she lost 30 pounds and became weaker. So, in true Barbara fashion she took charge.
Every day she would either use her exercise bike, exercise, or use her weights. She was so proud of herself. When I came home from work, she would say excitedly I rode 5 miles today or I rode for 30 minutes and have this look of accomplishment on her face. We would talk a lot at night about what she was going through. She always said it is no big deal I will kick cancers ass. Even during this tough time, she never let it affect who she was. She still was the Mama Bear of the family. Given all the side effects and that her cancer was not responding to the treatment her Oncologist took her of immunotherapy and started her on a cancer drug.